How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize