capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
