did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
