Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You can't motorboat a personality
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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