i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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