I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
