K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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