He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
you never un-have a 4some
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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