I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize