and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Welp...herpes.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
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It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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