One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize