is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize