Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
