What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
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She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
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brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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