Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize