I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
