you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
