I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
porn star boner night. come get it.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
