And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
two words: eviction party
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize