It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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