Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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