i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
