I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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