I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Randomize
