I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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