Just cropdusted the office
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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