rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
