Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
