Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean