mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking