I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.