Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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