you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
