I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
