so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
