it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
