Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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