Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
