this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
