There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
