Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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