I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
