oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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