I've blown a few things in my day
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
