Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
