He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
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using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
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There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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