The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I think i got beer on your cat.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
