Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
