Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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