on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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