Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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