Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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