Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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