It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
