I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize