i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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