Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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