I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
