in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
